There are three things you aren’t supposed to talk about at the dining room table: Politics, sex, and money. So how are we supposed to learn more if we won’t talk about it?
While people are willing to share their finances more and more online, it’s still interesting to see how taboo it is to discuss money in person. The investing app Acorns recently found that 68% of people would rather talk about their weight than money...
The discourse around money is especially challenging for women and people from cultures where the issue is taboo even within the family cell. According to a 2015 Fidelity Investments survey in the US, 56% of women refrain from talking about the issue because they think it is too personal, 27% were educated not to talk about financial issues, and 10% said they do not understand it enough and do not know how to talk about it. A study in the US found that about 43% of Americans do not even know how much their spouse earns. On the other hand, money, arguments resulting from a general financial situation, is one of the main predictors of divorce.
Reasons why people won’t talk about money:
1. We think income is equal to self-worth
2. We believe money exposes who we really are
3. We don't want to be judged
4. We are used to self-deception - and have to make sure all of the lies we’ve told ourselves to stay consistent.
People are ashamed that they cannot manage their financial affairs or are not sure how to invest. They do not share their wages with others, and this in itself may put them in a weak position in negotiating wages or negotiating prices. Money is not just a number or a sum; it is such a significant issue and actually serves as a mirror for everything that happens to us in life. One of the biggest reasons you and someone else might fall out about money is if you are not on the same page with your goals.
What are your money goals? What are your long-term or short-term goals and aspirations? What is stopping you from achieving them? Are there any immediate problems you really should get to grips with? Such as debts or fear of falling into debt, worries or anxieties about your job or health?
Even if longer-term goals seem impossible to achieve, what are the first small steps you could take towards achieving them?
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